You Won't Know Unless You Try

About two weeks after the first infusion on June 11th I started to feel better. Note that "feeling better" is not the same as "feeling great," but my appetite had improved and I was eating a lot. I felt so good that I decided to go out for a short bike ride on my e-bike. From the minute I rolled down the street I could feel my overall weakness. I decided to keep going. I rode at the highest power setting but it wasn't just leg strength. My problem was all of the muscles needed to stay in position on a bicycle. Arms forward, bent at the waist, chin up. It all requires muscles. I suffered through the five mile ride and stopped a couple of times. I couldn't wait to get home, and when I did I was so exhausted that I left all of my bike stuff laying around the garage (I never do that, I'm super organized) and went inside to sit down. What a relief. I thought a couple of hours of recuperation was all I needed, but that didn't work. The next two days felt like a setback to the days directly after the infusion. I lost my appetite and I was super fatigued. On Friday I tried to trim my beard, which requires standing at the bathroom sink, and I just couldn't stand up long enough. I tried three times and then finally succeeded with my fourth effort. By Saturday my appetite was back and I felt more energetic. I went out for an easy one mile walk. Today I am feeling that walk in my legs. I hope to rally later in the day for another walk.

In February of 2024 I wrote about getting boxed in by overlapping problems. When things go wrong and you're unable to execute activities that keep you on the path to your best possible health outcome, your box shrinks. Conversely, the more things you can do, the bigger your box gets. My box is real tight right now, so I pushed the envelope by cycling, a passion for me, and overdid it. It's always been this way for me. If I don't push I don't know what my box size could be and I may be lingering in a tight box (and off the path to best outcome) unnecessarily. It's trial and error. 

Things are disappointing right now. I may not be able to rebuild or even maintain what little strength I have until after the R-CHOP treatment is completed in September. From there it will be a very long road to get back to where I was a year ago.